Notes from the In-Between

"Echoes of Every Step" - 2025

My plan for this post was to share my last visit to Scotland and all the beautiful inspirations I brought back with me. But today, my impulse has its own priorities, so I’ll just go with the flow. I promise I’ll come back to my trip in the next post.

As the title suggests, I’ve been in a kind of “in-between” phase since the end of July.

Between wanting to create and searching for a job.

Between needing rest and not being able to fully relax after 10 years of constant work.

Between feeling happy about my peace and guilty for not doing enough right now.

Between promoting my art and holding back because of bureaucracy in Germany.

Between feeling free — but not really, because of how the unemployment system works.

And somewhere between all that... life is happening too: gardening, cooking, cleaning, singing, reading, and simply trying to make the best of everything.

Today is one of those days when I couldn’t decide what to do or how to spend my time. I woke up, went grocery shopping, cooked, baked, practiced piano, called my family and still felt like I wasn’t productive enough. Can you relate to that? That constant feeling of needing to be productive?

You’re young, healthy, maybe even overqualified, so how is it possible that you can’t find a job right away?

(Maybe you’ve had a similar experience yourself.)

But let me be more specific about this experience:

In Germany, after a work contract ends, you can apply for financial support from the government (based on your previous salary, working hours, etc.). At the same time, you're invited to a counseling appointment to help you find a new job as soon as possible, totally normal and understandable.

The counselors who are supposed to support your job search don’t know anything about you (again, normal). But here’s the part that I found hard to accept: They think they have the right to review your life choices.

Long story short: During our first meeting, my counselor explained that any kind of work process, like painting a picture, must be officially reported if it exceeds a certain number of hours. So I asked: “Even if I don’t earn anything from it? Even if no one ends up buying the painting, which can happen, especially for new artists?”

And the response I got was:

“Well, Miss Eracleous, then maybe you should reconsider whether you really want to be an artist if you can’t sell your art. You need to be able to distinguish between a hobby and a profession when reporting your hours.”

That was the moment. The moment my “in-between” was born.

Between loving art and "needing" a “normal” job.

Between wanting to be true to myself and being forced to be practical.

Because in the end, I believe there’s something more important in life than just having any job. It’s about doing something that actually makes the world a little more beautiful.

There’s a quote from a children’s book that has stayed with me since i read it (especially since i became an aunt) — Miss Rumphius by Barbara Cooney. In it, a little girl named Alice tells her aunt that one day, she’ll travel to faraway places and then live by the sea. But her aunt says there’s one more thing she must do:

“When I grow up,” I tell her, “I too will go to faraway places and come home to live by the sea.” “That is all very well, little Alice,” says my aunt, “but there is a third thing you must do.”“What is that?” I ask. “You must do something to make the world more beautiful.” “All right,” I say. But I do not know yet what that can be. — Barbara Cooney, Miss Rumphius (New York: Puffin Books, 1982)

I’m not sharing this quote for commercial reasons, it simply speaks to me deeply. And I believe that my own way of making the world more beautiful is through art. In the moments when I paint, sing, write, or simply observe life... something meaningful emerges. And maybe that’s exactly what we need: honest, creative moments from the in-between.

So... until I’m forced to be “normal,” I’ll keep listening to that gut feeling that tells me:

I can live from my art. I can inspire people. There is beauty in being bored sometimes. And I will find a job where my creativity is seen as something valuable.

Until then, I'll leave you with a few impressions from these little creative Notes from the In-Between.